Log in

No account? Create an account
13 February 2007 @ 01:53 pm
why do things never work out the way you want them to? Whenever things are going well, something always happens and it doesn't work out.

totally confused by you
Current Mood: confusedconfused
10 December 2006 @ 01:57 pm
Wow I haven't written anything in here for forever. My last entry was so lame that I had to delete it.sigh.

Anyway, I cant even describe how happy I am for this semester to be over. It has been the worst yet and I hope it doesn't ever get worse than this. I was a Speech Pathology and Audiology major, but I decided to swtich to Human Development and Family studies because I absolutely HATE Speech Path. I had to take this Applied Phonetics class and it is the hardest and most boring class I have ever taken. If I had to sit through more classes like that and go to grad school so sit through even more terrible ones, I would probably go insane and kill myself. It was horrible. So basically this semester was trying to figure out what the hell I actually want to do with my life, but I still haven't really fully decided. I changed to HDFS because my faculty partner for teaching orientation graduated with that and she loved it so I thought I would give it a try. I think I want to focus on youth development and be a preschool/kindergarden teacher. Little kids are so much fun and are so happy and carefree. I need that happiness and carefree attitude in life back, and I really love working with kids. They make me laugh and smile. So we will see how it goes.

I am still working as a server at the Roadhouse, but I was informed yesterday that I am on very thin ice. Apparently I have messed up a lot of credit cards or something and if I do it again I will be gone. I think I found what I was doing wrong so I should be ok, but it still scares the shit out of me because I cannot lose this job. I dont know why I have been messing it up because I have been there for a few months now, and it really makes me feel like a dumbass. I think my bosses think I am a total idiot. Well, I guess I kinda am in some ways. I just overthink things too much there because I dont want to mess up but I end up fucking up anyway. Serving is so hard and maybe I'm just not meant to do it, but I like my job because of the people I work with and I make pretty good money most of the time. I dont know, I just hope I dont fuck up again.

I have been doing a lot of research for study abroad programs and I am pretty sure I am going to do one in Prague, Czech Republic. I have always wanted to go there and that is my heritage, so I really want to check it out. It is supposed to be beautiful there and I have heard nothing but great things. The only problem is that I dont know when I will do it. I want to next spring but I really want to live with katie, cailey, and some people next year but if I go next spring I probably wont be able to because it will be in the middle of the lease. I will probably end up getting shafted out of living with them of course though because there are so many people who want to live together now. I just dont know but I/ we have to figure all this out really soon.

A new relationship may be budding for me now. It is exciting, but I still dont really know if I am over Brian enough to get into another relationship now. I just really want to take it slow for now and I am enjoying how it is right now.All I can do is wait and see what happens.

Well back to studying for finals. Man I just want to fast forward to them being over and for break. I cant wait.

I should probably stop smoking the ganja. That is probably why I am scatterbrained and crazy lately. I doubt it.
Current Music: Bob Dylan
24 August 2006 @ 01:54 pm
Well we have once again arrived at the time when america's young adults are putting their best foot forward into the upcoming school year. A school year that will involve all nighters, sluttly clothing all around campuses worldwide, permiscuous drunken sex,keggers, and maybe some studying thrown in. For most this time brings a lot of anticipation, but as for myself I am dreading it. I am not ready for all of the bullshit assignments and responsibilities. I am lazy, yes, but I know you feel my plight.

Perhaps some of this unexcitement on my part is that I'm not living in the dorms again, and am instead living at home for at least the first semester to save money. In the long run I will be thankful for it by still having a bunch of money left for school and possibly a study abroad program, and not to mention getting fat by piling in the money worth of food plan into myself. Jessica, Maeve, Cailey, and now Katie are all living in Lake, and that kinda makes me worried because I am sure that I will feel even more left out with them because of me not living there. The five of us are hopefully going to get a house next summer through the year, which would be amazing and undoubtedbly fun, but that is only if no one tards out of it for some lame reason. I hope I dont get left out of it by not living with them this year because I will be really pissed about it since I have been wanting to do this for years. Hppefully it works out because I can't live in this house much longer.

I really dont want classes to start. I am going to be so incredibly busy all of the time with class, studying, and working on the weekends and wednesdays. ugh...
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


'''Is it still called Snakes on a Plane?' When they said yeah, I said, 'Then I still want to be in it.'''

....So imagine Jackson's surprise when he arrived on the set in Vancouver last summer to find that Snakes had been retitled Pacific Air 121. According to New Line president Toby Emmerich, the switch was made to project a veneer of class; apparently, they couldn't get actors to consider working on a project called Snakes on a Plane. But Jackson says the explanation he got was that New Line ''didn't want to give too much away'' about the movie. ''I was like, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F---ING MINDS?! That's EXACTLY what you want to do!'' he says, twitching with agitation. ''How else are you going to get people into the movie? Nobody wants to see Pacific Air 121. That's like saying Boat to Heaven. People either want to see this movie or they don't. So let 'em know: If you're coming to see this movie, you're going to see a plane full of deadly-ass snakes. That's what it should be called. Deadly-Ass Snakes on a Plane.'' He slaps his hands loudly three times for emphasis. ''COME ON!...

But Jackson couldn't get New Line to reverse what he considered its other wimp-out: a PG-13 rating. He wanted extreme action. He wanted gruesome snake attacks in slo-mo. Furthermore, the plane needed to be equipped with some F-bombs, because ''nobody cursing is kind of unrealistic when you're in an airplane with a bunch of f---ing snakes.'' Throughout production, the star predicted that the too-gentle flick was destined for retooling and urged the studio to shoot alternative R-rated scenes to avoid costly reshoots later. No dice...

Still, SoaP has many admirers in Hollywood, where every studio, mindful of the maturation of both YouTube and MySpace, is currently desperate to reach young pop junkies online. Case in point: Twentieth Century Fox, whose parent, News Corp., last year acquired MySpace, has just launched a new youth label called Fox Atomic. This fall the division will shoot a remake of Revenge of the Nerds, but it has already begun cultivating its audience via viral-video Web promotions. ''Snakes is a powerful indication of how you can use the Internet to engage the audience and capture their imagination with just a concept,'' says Peter Rice, president of Fox Atomic and Fox Searchlight. And Fox marketing president Pam Levine believes the kind of online creativity inspired by Snakes will soon evolve to a point where fans become less interested in playing with Hollywood movies and more interested in making their own.

All of these ideas amuse Jackson, but he would like to make one thing clear: ''Snakes on a Plane doesn't speak volumes about s---. I just hope people go to this film and have a good time. Laugh, scream, freak each other out.'' He also hopes movie critics who will have to do without advance screenings will leave Snakes alone. ''Those motherf---ers don't need to watch this. They need to send some 13-year-old kid with f---ing pimples that goes to the mall every Friday to watch movies. I respect the people who are going to see this film, because they know what they like to see,'' he says. ''They like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Hostel. Saw. They're not afraid to say they like it. I like those films too. I like seeing people getting f---ed up in strange and funny situations. There's a lot of us out there!'' On Aug. 18, you'll know where they'll be. The question is, Will they like the movie they helped to make?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

good ol' Samual L J. Wow I cant wait for this!

get the whole story at http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,1219727_1_0_,00.html
13 July 2006 @ 09:37 pm
Yeah so I really haven't written in here much at all lately. I don't know why, I guess I am too busy, lazy, or don't really have much to say. Most likely the latter. Well I guess a lot has been going on, but I just really haven't felt like writing.

First things first I feel that I must vent. Most simply put: People always seem to be disappointing me. Like when people you think are your friends turn out to be total immature assholes. I know this group of guys who I have kinda been hanging out with for awhile, but now I am realizing that they are just a bunch of losers who do nothing with their lives except drink,smoke pot, sit around listening to music, and spend the rest of the time loving themselves and each other; while treating other people like they control you and you should be priviledged to hang out with them. They pick girls randomly and play them until they have them wrapped around their finger then completely do a 180 and change then act like childish assholes. I have fallen for it twice now, and now I can only be disappointed in myself for allowing it to happen and for being so vulnerable. I thought he wasn't one of "them" but now I can see how totally wrong I was, as now I feel like a complete idiot. Fuck them. I am tired of trying to be accepted by them and worrying if they like me or not. I feel like I am in middle school again and I dont need to be surrounded by people like that. Now I see why Natalie and Julie don't really hang out with them anymore. I really don't understand people like that. They are all so self absorbed and think that people should feel priviledged to hang out with them. Not all of them are like this, just a select few; two in particular. Some people just have to grow up.It sucks though because I have so much in common with them and had fun when I would hang out with them. I actually felt like I belonged somewhere. How do people like this do it? How do they lure you in when you know you shouldn't let them? I have a hard enough time getting many people to hang out with me and I'm not even an egocentric asshole. How do they do it? Hopefully they change and get themselves together and get their shit straight, but until then I will let them live their petty, lowlife lives being in love with each other.

Anyway,in other news, I may be quitting EBSCO. Well, actually, I may be getting fired. I haven't been able to make our quota as much as I used to and they put me on probation. They gave me 8 shifts and I have to make it 6 times out of the 8. Fat chance with the shit they are giving us to sell. Oh well, I have to get out of that place anyway. I had an interview at my favorite jewelry store Lasso the Moon the other day and I think it went well. I'm not too crazy about the minimum wage thing though, but I would get commission for sales. Then my brother's friend works as a waitress at the Roadhouse and she said she could probably get me in since she has been there for awile and they trust her judgement. I dont know about the whole waitressing thing, but I guess she sometimes walks out of there with $80-120 in tips a night which would be amazing. I guess I will give it a shot. I dont think I can work both jobs though, especially with school and such. I guess I will just have to see what happens
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
Current Music: Bjork-Hunter
29 June 2006 @ 06:54 pm
So glad to be a slab
Stiff as a stick on a board
I get thoughts and dirty socks
Piled in the corner

I get lonesome
I get lonesome
I get lonesome
I get lonesome

Getting fat on your own fear
Bring that beer over here
I stomp on the floor
Just to make a sound
I get lonesome

Lack of friends, a potential loss of job, no more significant other, too much drugs and alcohol, no more flings,lies,nothing to do.this place is getting old, nights spent lying awake and days spent doing nothing. I have nothing
22 June 2006 @ 02:41 pm
Bonnaroo was amazing! I am definitely going to go again next year. Despite the hot sun and 95 degree weather everyday, it was such a blast. Every band we saw was great. I think my favorite was Beck because his shows are always so unique in some way. There were puppets of Beck and his band behind him and they did the same thing that they did,which was hilarious and really cool. Then at one point he came out wearing a bear suit and jumping around singing and then played the drums. They did the whole dinner table thing too which I was really happy to see again. He never ceases to amaze me,and this performance made me love him even more.

Radiohead was amazing too, of course. The only thing that sucked was that we were pretty close up, but there were about 80,000 people crammed together in extreme heat, and plus me,Katie,and Tessa are midgits so we couldn't see a thing. We moved back at one point and that was a lot more comfortable. I wish they didnt play so many slow, mellow songs in a row though such as How to Dissappear Completely and Never be Found, Exit Music, etc. I love those songs, but when you are so sleep deprived and have tons of people tripping on God knows what it probably wasn't a good idea. They did play a lot of other good songs though such as 2+2=5, The Bends, Myxomatosis, Ideoteque, Kid A,etc.

I also really enjoyed Clap Your Hands Say Yeah. They have such a great sound and the singer has such a unique voice. Dungen (a swedish band) was really good too.

Mike Skinner from the Streets came out with Ben Folds and sang Bitches Aint Shit which was hilarious. The Streets were amazing too! Mike Skinner is my new hero. We didn't get to see all of it though because we had to leave so Tessa could be back for work the next morning. I was happy to see them play Lets Push Things Forward and Dont Mug Yourself though.

I wanted to see Les Claypool and Medeski, Martin, and Wood play but they played while Beck was playing. MMW had the exact same play time. I was going to check out Les Claypool for about a half hour after Beck, but we stayed where we were sitting for Radiohead. I got to see him play with Oysterhead though so it's ok. I missed the Super Jam because I ended up passing out after Radiohead, and the super jam was at like 2am. I was pissed because Trey and Mike from Phish played and I think Les Claypool too. Ugh.Oh well, you cant see everything.

My Morning Jacket...wow! They were great. They played for a pretty long time so I watched them for awhile then went to check out Umphrey's McGee with Tessa (Katie was passed out in her own little world at this point....ha) then we went back to MMJ. They played the Who's A Quick One While He's Away which I was so ecstatic about because I absolutely love that song, then they played Loving Cup! I was impressed.

Our neighbors were really nice. Two of them were older in like their mid 30's or something, and they let us sit in their canopy tent because we didnt have one, and wow were we thankful for that! It pretty much saved our lives. Then on the other side were 3 guys from MA who were around my age. They were hilarious and we hung out with them sometimes and they sat under the tent with us. I loved how complete strangers could just randomly meet and become friends at festivals. It made me really miss Phish, but there were a lot of Phish heads there of course so I got to reminisce.

Coming home sucked because we got stuck in traffic for about an hour and a half in Kentucky and we have no idea why. There wasn't any sight of an accident or construction or anything, so unless there was something big going on in Kentucky for some reason (which I highly doubt) we were just sitting there for no reason. Oh well, at least we had some Huey Lewis playin. Ha.

Well I think that is it. I have heaps of pictures and I will post some of them on here soon, but if you want to see all of them go to my webshots page....

14 June 2006 @ 12:14 pm
I am Bonnaroo bound! Me, Katie, and Tessa are leaving tomorrow night around 1am. Yeah that should be interesting. I am so excited and I cant wait! It's going to be amazing despite the 90 degree weather. I bought a pair of those ridiculous looking Crocs shoes. They are so goofy looking, but I think they will be the best kind of shoe to wear there though,and I have been told as such. I am looking forward to the drive because I love long road trips. I will have heaps of pictures when I get back, so prepare yourselves for that.

I am thinking about going to Chicago to see Steve and checking out the Pitchfork music festival on the 29th and 30th. Yo La Tengo is playing and I would really like to see them. We will see though. Damn money, it ruins everything.

onwards and upwards
Current Mood: excitedexcited
18 May 2006 @ 12:28 pm
Man I hate when people dont call you back. I think I get abnormally pissed about it. Yes, sometimes it happens, but is it really that hard to give someone a quick call back? I think it's rude not to.Ugh..maybe it's just me.

I want to get a record player so I can play old jazz and blues on it. Everything sounds so much better on vinyl
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
...Man I love Out Hud. That is also probably one of the best song titles ever.

I have been listening to a lot of Joy Division lately. It started when I watched the movie 24 Hour Party People, which is a crazy movie about them. Ian Curtis has such a powerful voice and I love it. If you aren't too familiar, they sing the song " Love Will Tear Us Apart" and I am sure you probably heard that one. English rock from this era is amazing ( The Sex Pistols, for example). The next time I am in London and Manchester,England (hopefully!) I am going to have to check out the music scene since I didnt really get to the last time I was there. Maybe there are some good bands that still have this punk style that don't totally suck, which is unfortunately is pretty much impossible these days.

I downloaded a bunch of stuff by Mum since it all got erased from our computer the last time our computer crashed. I love "Now There's That Fear Again" on Finally We Are No One.

I am so excited because Steve is letting me use his Oink account to get bittorrents of complete discographies of pretty much any artist. I know what I am going to be doing all summer! I'm gonna go nuts. Looks like it's going to be time for my computer to crash. Thanks, brah.

Did you know that they have band aids for black and mixed people now? What is happening to this world?!
Current Music: Joy Division- Love Will Tear Us Apart